Why 90? Well, if you reach out to three or four people a day, five days a week, for an entire month, you’ll have contacted about 80 people. During that month, you’ll also probably speak at a few events, and make some connections there. Add those to the people you’ve already contacted, and you end up with a number around 90.
(And, I think 90 pairs better with “network” than 80, so there you go. I’m no mathematician.)
How to Reach Out—Without Being Pesky
When you contact people—both those on your List of 20 and those in your Network of 90—your primary goal is not to promote your services, it’s to serve your connections. Networking is helping other people in a way that’s relevant to them. So be helpful.
As you contact people in your network every single day, you can do one of three things:
#1 Share Your Knowledge
I’m not talking about sending someone an email with your accolades and accomplishments to show them how smart you are. No, this means sharing what you’ve learned and what you’re learning that could be valuable for the other person.
Maybe you saw an article in the New York Times about a topic a CEO you met recently is interested in. You could send it to her, along with a note like: “I read this article the other day and remembered you mentioning this topic. Have you read this? I think….”
Or, you could even send a book to someone in your network. Include a note that explains why you’re sending them the book, why you think it’d be valuable to them, and what the book means to you. (Just don’t send YOUR book unless they ask for it.) You can follow up a few weeks later to chat about the book and see what they’ve learned. Sharing valuable books is an excellent way to share your knowledge and help other people at the same time.
When someone in your network gets a message like this, they appreciate it, and they remember it. Subconsciously, they start to associate your name with value. And consciously, they know you’re thinking about them and know and understand the problems they face or topics that interest them.
#2 Share Your Network
This is sharing who you know. Everyone in your network is potentially a good connection for someone else.
The Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon suggests that you’re never more than six connections away from the man himself. And in this case, it’s actually true—because I know people who are just one degree away from Kevin Bacon. And since you know me (or at least how to reach me), that means you’re just a couple degrees away from Mr. Footloose himself.
You’re always just a few connections away from the information or connection you need. That means you could be the matchmaker who gets someone in your network closer to what they need to achieve their goals. And you never know, you might be introducing the two people who are going to end world hunger—or who might fall in love and get married.
Think about two people who might find each other relevant or interesting, and potentially valuable to each other. Maybe they both research the same topic or share a business connection. Or maybe they both like golf or live in the same town. Remember, relevancy is paramount.
It’s also important to consider professional status. If you introduce a brand-new professional to someone who’s been in the industry for 20 years, it likely won’t be very helpful, relevant, or valuable to the person with more experience. (Unless they have a very specific reason to connect; in that case, it might be a great way to share your network.)
#3 Share Your Compassion
Expressing compassion is often one of the first steps to a successful working relationship. When you show genuine concern and understanding for the people you serve, you’ll connect more authentically and deeply.
If someone in your network is going through a hard time, send a card and express your sympathy. If someone recently won an award, published a new book, or accomplished something noteworthy, shower them with praise. If someone recently got married or had a baby, congratulate them with flowers or a gift.
These simple yet powerful gestures make people happy they know you. You make them feel better about who they are and what they do. Your genuine efforts to share your compassion will solidify you as one of the most helpful, most valuable, and most unique people they’ve ever met.
Stay in Touch—in a Way That’s Relevant to Them
This networking strategy has been used by hundreds of thousands of people since the release of Book Yourself Solid in 2006. It has stood the test of time because it’s very, very effective.
It can help you become known as the most important speaker your associates have ever met—because you constantly provide value, in every exchange. It can help you become known as a friendly connection-creator—because you constantly introduce people to other useful people (ones who could give them exactly what they want and need). It can help you form deeper, more authentic, more satisfying, and more lasting relationships.
No matter where you are on your speaking journey, I would implore you—beg you, even—to start doing something like this today, right now.
As you do this, you’ll build a network of connections with a foundation of compassion, trust, and integrity. You’ll stay in touch in a way that’s relevant and meaningful to your audience. And as a result, both you and your network will benefit from more opportunities, more connection, and more value.
You see, you’re not in the speaking business—you’re in the relationship business. When you make that mental shift, you won’t just book more gigs, you’ll be able to build a sustainable, long-lasting, and profitable speaking business. One that’s valuable to the people you serve, and invaluable to you.
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