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The Vulnerability Advantage: Share Your Story to Build Authority

Focusing completely on your audience is the first step towards authentic vulnerability.

On Stage

Public speaking

Stage performance

Russell

Ewing

Creative Director, Lead Performance Faculty

minute read

Published on

April 14, 2025

HEROIC’s performance coaches help speakers unlock their full performance potential and amplify their unique messages.

If you’ve ever lost your speaking mojo and worried your confidence is shrinking with each passing day…

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If you’ve ever been overcome with performance anxiety—to the point of losing your place or fumbling your words (or feeling like you’ve forgotten how to speak entirely)...

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If you’ve felt like an impostor onstage and thought, “I can’t do this. I have nothing to say. Why would anyone listen to me?”

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If you fear you’re holding your true self back, or barreling through your speeches without forming real audience connection—just so you can give yourself the illusion of confidence…

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If that sounds all too familiar, then hearing the typical advice to “use vulnerability to connect with your audience” might seem like just one more thing to worry about.

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And yes, it’s true that vulnerability can help you build trust with your audience.

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But if you spend your time focusing on how you can be vulnerable, how you can connect authentically, and how you can show confidence onstage… You might be missing the mark—and frankly, making matters even worse.

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You might even start feeling more performance anxiety, more impostor syndrome, and more feelings of self-doubt and insecurity.

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Why? Because feelings of self-consciousness are a sign you're focusing more on yourself than on your audience.

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And as simple as it may sound, shifting your focus from self to service eliminates almost all feelings of performance anxiety and impostor syndrome. You see, the key to confidence while speaking, and to building those relationships with your audience is not focusing on your own vulnerability—but rather, a complete commitment to serving your audience.

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Making this change will allow you to feel more comfortable onstage, more in sync with your message, and more confident in your ability to impact your audience.

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Only after shifting your focus completely to your audience can you take advantage of the full expressive power of vulnerability.

Full Transcript

Don't

At CORE | The Breakthrough Experience, thought leaders discover how to share their strongest story to build authority and connection.

Think externally, not internally.

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When you truly understand that your purpose as a speaker is to selflessly serve your audience, it aligns your focus—both intellectually and emotionally—and shifts it towards them.

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Performance is about making your audience feel things—it’s not about what you’re feeling. When you center your mind on igniting specific emotions in your audience during each section of your speech, there’s simply no time left to worry about yourself.

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To shift your focus towards your audience, ask yourself:

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What problem am I trying to help my audience overcome?
How can I help my audience understand essential truths in order to shift their thinking?
What will their world look like when they make the changes I suggest?
What do I want my audience to feel during each specific moment of my speech?

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You see, it’s only when we are worried about how we look, how we are being perceived, and whether or not we’re doing a good job that the anxiety crawls in—and we start to second-guess our capability.

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And if, while you're onstage, you do catch your mind drifting away from your audience and back onto yourself—don't worry. It's totally natural for that to happen. Course correct by remaining present and focusing back on individual members of your audience and how you're making them feel.

Don't

go through your script and ask yourself how you want your audience to feel, moment by moment.

Vulnerability: How much is too much?

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Vulnerability can help you share your story and build authority—when it’s focused on your audience.

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If you are being vulnerable, feeling profound emotions, and experiencing a deep sense of catharsis—without it truly benefiting your audience or serving your message—it's likely not resulting in the transformational experience for them that you think it is. It might be too much.

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That’s not to say that telling traumatic stories about your past and sharing vulnerable life experiences isn’t effective. It can be—but only when your audience is able to clearly see how it relates to them, how their story interweaves with yours, and how it can help them grow.

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If a vulnerable moment does none of those things, then you're risking it verging into self-indulgence and not being beneficial for your audience.

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Sometimes you need to put more skin in the game.

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Some speakers, when sharing their life experiences and personal stories, do the opposite. Instead of diving too deep, they remain detached—and avoid touching on vulnerability altogether.

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If you’re asking your audience to go to a difficult, provocative, or challenging emotional space, you must be willing to put some skin in the game yourself. You must be willing to lead them into the depths of your story—uncovering the details and nuances in the moment that will help them live it with you. If you can help them live a story with you, rather than just be told a story—then your audience will grow from it.

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Michael Port has often said: “Your audience will never have more fun than you're having onstage.” The same holds true with other emotions you're hoping to evoke onstage.

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Remaining detached, unaffected, and neutral during a speech—especially during what could be a high-impact story—results in stripping away the passion. You can only expect your audience to have as much passion and intensity about a topic as you are willing to have. You can't expect them to be profoundly moved if you don't allow yourself to feel deeply connected to what you are talking about.

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When you start to put more skin in the game, they will too. Your core responsibility—your literal job—is to orchestrate a transformational experience for your audience. To shift their emotions. To create unforgettable moments.

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It’s your job to perform and deliver a transformational experience; your audience’s only job is to show up and be taken on the ride that you create for them.

Don't

expect your audience to be deeply moved by something you’re not deeply moved by.

be a leader—be willing to go to the emotional places you’re asking your audience to go to.

The Magic Ingredient: How One HEROIC Alumni Unlocked Her Full Performance Potential

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Recently, I had the pleasure of working with a speaker throughout the entire GRAD process—we met at CORE, she wrote a script for her speech in GRAD | Speech Writing Mastery, and then I worked with her during GRAD | Stage Performance Mastery.

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During the last session of GRAD | Stage Performance Mastery, after seeing how far she’d come and just how much she had improved and transformed as a speaker, I congratulated her for her amazing work.

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She had put in hours and hours of preparation, and truly implemented the craft of vocal and stage performance. Her content was solid. Her performance skills were top-notch. All the ingredients in her speaker equation were great—but I had a feeling, a hunch, as her teacher, that she was putting up an invisible wall.

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I told her: “I have a feeling there’s an invisible wall that you’re intentionally keeping up. I think it’s separating you from your audience. Whatever reasons you have for building that wall are none of my business, but I can tell you this: the more you work on removing that wall, the more you’ll be able to truly impact your audience.”

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A few months after the graduation celebration, this speaker came back to the HEROIC campus to film her DFY Speech Trailer Video.

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When she stepped onstage and performed the first take of her speech, I was completely blown away.

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The invisible wall was non-existent. She had put in the work to remove it, and now she could go deeper, show more vulnerability, and create more powerful emotions—all in service of her audience.

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Authentic, audience-focused vulnerability was the magic ingredient that unlocked this speaker’s maximum performance potential.

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Finding the Courage to Break Down Invisible Walls

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It can seem intimidating or frightening to show up with vulnerability onstage. But when you focus completely on your audience and the experience you’re crafting for them, it’s actually liberating.

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You realize that your performance isn’t about you at all. It’s about your audience. The performance decisions you make all contribute to their transformation. You find new ways to inspire change, provoke emotion, and make your mark.

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Finding the courage, the willingness, and the vulnerability to break down the invisible wall that’s separating you from your audience can unlock a truly magical aspect of your performance and set you apart.

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Sharing your story with authentic, audience-focused vulnerability allows you to access your most raw, selfless, and powerful performance. And that’s the performance your audience is waiting for.

Don't

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Think externally, not internally.

‍

When you truly understand that your purpose as a speaker is to selflessly serve your audience, it aligns your focus—both intellectually and emotionally—and shifts it towards them.

‍

To shift your focus towards your audience, ask yourself:

‍

What problem am I trying to help my audience overcome?
How can I help my audience understand essential truths in order to shift their thinking?
What will their world look like when they make the changes I suggest?
What do I want my audience to feel during each specific moment of my speech?

‍

Dont

go through your script and ask yourself how you want your audience to feel, moment by moment.

At CORE | The Breakthrough Experience, thought leaders discover how to share their strongest story to build authority and connection.

Vulnerability: How much is too much?

‍

Vulnerability can help you share your story and build authority—when it’s focused on your audience.

‍

If a vulnerable moment does none of those things, then you're risking it verging into self-indulgence and not being beneficial for your audience.

‍

Sometimes you need to put more skin in the game.

‍

Some speakers, when sharing their life experiences and personal stories, do the opposite. Instead of diving too deep, they remain detached—and avoid touching on vulnerability altogether.

‍

Michael Port has often said: “Your audience will never have more fun than you're having onstage.” The same holds true with other emotions you're hoping to evoke onstage.

‍

It’s your job to perform and deliver a transformational experience; your audience’s only job is to show up and be taken on the ride that you create for them.

Don't

expect your audience to be deeply moved by something you’re not deeply moved by.

be a leader—be willing to go to the emotional places you’re asking your audience to go to.

The Magic Ingredient: How One HEROIC Alumni Unlocked Her Full Performance Potential

‍

A few months after the graduation celebration, this speaker came back to the HEROIC campus to film her DFY Speech Trailer Video.

‍

When she stepped onstage and performed the first take of her speech, I was completely blown away.

‍

The invisible wall was non-existent. She had put in the work to remove it, and now she could go deeper, show more vulnerability, and create more powerful emotions—all in service of her audience.

‍

Authentic, audience-focused vulnerability was the magic ingredient that unlocked this speaker’s maximum performance potential.

‍