%20(1).png)
Michelin Stars. The Pulitzer Prize. Academy Awards. The Nobel Peace Prize. The Heisman. Consumer Reports. There’s even a Speaker Hall of Fame.
From the food we eat and the movies we watch to the cars we drive and even the vacuums that clean our homes, we constantly compare products, people, causes, art (and perhaps almost everything else) to determine which are good, better and best.
In a world caught up in awards, rankings, and recognition, it’s easy to lose focus of your deeper purpose as a professional speaker and thought leader and start to value approval over impact.
Some speakers strive to become the “best” speaker in the industry. Of course, becoming the best version of yourself is a noble, admirable, and worthwhile quest. The pursuit of mastery in what you do fills you with joy and purpose. And looking back and seeing how much you’ve improved over the last three, six, or twelve months is not only satisfying, it’s awe-inspiring.
But, if on the quest to become best-in-class you lose track of your why, your search for greatness could turn into a Sisyphean task. No amount of sizzle reels, raving testimonials, or positive reviews will be enough to push the massive boulder far enough up the hill of success.
The majority of speakers don’t aspire to be the best, but they do worry about being “good.” They compare themselves to those around them, question their value, and let feelings of inadequacy and anxiety invade them, affecting their performance on stage and their results as leaders. It can strangle a speaker’s true voice.
You see, this skewed focus might actually compromise the quality of your message and diminish your impact as a transformational speaker.
The Potential Risks of Striving to Be “Good”
Years ago, during a conversation with a bright new author, she asked a question that so many new speakers, leaders, entrepreneurs, and authors wrestle with.
This author successfully published her book and got an invitation to speak about it on Good Morning America. She had worked hard to secure this fantastic opportunity, knowing it could significantly boost book sales and open more doors down the road. Her book was the perfect fit for the viewers of the program and its message would greatly benefit their lives.
It was a big moment, and she knew it. With some panic and a great deal of nervousness in her voice, she asked me the big question. That very question so many authors and speakers just like her ask themselves before important moments:
"How can I be good?"
My answer to her—and to any other thought leader or performer who asks me that question is simple: “You can’t.”
“Good,” just like “best,” is a completely subjective measurement. In a creative field like public speaking or authorship, there’s no objective way to rank performance. While one person might consider your work exceptional, another could consider it mediocre, another horrible, another amazing, and on and on. So, don’t try to be “good.”
The truth is, when you focus on being “good,” you could start to encounter some dangerous problems:
#1 Appearing self-absorbed
If you go into a keynote speech, business presentation, or conversation trying to be good, it might come off as self-absorbed because your focus is entirely on you, not them.
Mentioning your accomplishments and accolades, name dropping, or talking only about yourself could demonstrate what a big shot you are, but it could also alienate you from your audience or potential clients. After all, showing off can damage your credibility and business success.
#2 Feeling more stage fright
When your focus is on you, the pressure’s on. You think every little thing you do must show the world your capabilities and skillfulness—and mistakes are unacceptable, as they can be deadly to your image and reputation.
As a result, high-stakes situations produce much more stage fright than before, since you realize everything that’s at risk in your pursuit of perfection.
#3 Failing at achieving your goals
Every time you step on stage—whether it’s at the office in front of your team, or on the keynote stage at a big event—you speak with one or more goals in mind. Perhaps you want to motivate CEOs to inquire about your consulting services or inspire people to donate to your cause.
Whatever your ultimate goal is, that is where your focus should be. Results-focused speakers have clear goals and clear parameters for achieving them. When you worry about being good enough or whether or not people will like you or your presentation, your focus shifts from your goals to seeking approval.
The Root Cause: The Need for Approval
The desire to be seen as “good” may be driven by a need for approval. It’s a natural instinct we have as humans to fit in and be accepted. However, many speakers allow their need for approval to interfere with their focus on a deeper purpose. In the world of thought leadership, you often must choose between approval and results.
The approval-focused thought leader will share anecdotes and successful experiences to show who they’ve worked with and how much they’ve done in their career—while avoiding mentioning failures or works-in-progress that might truly benefit those in the audience.
The results-focused thought leader will do whatever it takes to spread their message—including taking risks that could lead to criticism or showing vulnerability. If it serves their audience and is useful to them, the results-focused speaker will do it, because they don’t need the approval of others.
If your focus is on seeking admiration and being liked, your actions will reflect that. You’ll start to make decisions that serve you, rather than your audience. Your efforts to be “good” will compromise the quality of your speech. Instead of presenting a message that puts your audience first and is helpful to them, it could turn into one focused too much on you.
Being an effective speaker or thought leader means you put your audience first, and all your choices are in service of your audience.
.svg)
.png)
