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The Performer’s Paradox: Choosing Between Results and Approval

Overcome conflicting intentions and find satisfaction in your life’s performance.

4
minute read
Published on
December 20, 2023
Ashish Chatterjee performing on stage at Heroic.

Performing―whether on stage, in the office or in any other leadership position―places you under expanded scrutiny.  You’re stepping up and you’re asking for the exposure that will have more people talking about you—sometimes negatively.

Your ultimate goal of becoming a leader, or advocate for a cause, or professional speaker will battle with that familiar inner voice telling you to avoid situations where you could be criticized, laughed at, or rejected. 

That is the performer’s paradox.

The Performer’s Paradox

The performer’s paradox is a tug of war between two conflicting intentions. Those conflicting interests are unique to each performer, but ultimately boil down to one thing―the battle between the desire to succeed and the fear of failure.

For example, a new CEO might have the intention to get ahead but also have the intention of showing others he’s better than them. Those are conflicting intentions that get in the way of your professional or personal development.

An artist wants to quit her day job to focus entirely on her work, but won’t show her work because she thinks it’s selling out to the commercialism of the art world. Those conflicting intentions get in the way of her dreams of making art that will reach the people she’s meant to serve.

Many speakers want to give speeches on topics they’re passionate about because they want to change the world in some way. But they don’t want to be criticized. Those conflicting intentions will surely get in the way of taking center stage.

Results vs. Approval

Every time we get up on the stages of our lives and start to perform, we do our best to succeed. But what does success mean to you?

At HEROIC, we coach and advise aspiring speakers, CEOs, authors, and leaders and many find it helpful to realize they ultimately have to choose between results or approval. In the end, the ones who choose results are more successful and satisfied by their work. And, yes, that leads to approval. But, it can’t be the initial motivating force.  

So, which is more important to you, results or approval? Be honest.

When I was younger it was all about approval. Now, it's the results. I won’t sacrifice my values and certainly wouldn’t ever consider hurting anyone to achieve my goals, but I don’t work for applause or status. 

I care about helping performers shine in all the spotlight moments of life. I care about delivering on the promises I make to HEROIC students. If you master the art of performance, then I’ve achieved my goal. Of course, as a result, I do too.

The Downfall of Seeking Approval 

While seeking approval is a perfectly valid choice―after all, who doesn’t like to be liked? There are some dangers that come with it. First of all, if you are overly concerned with the approval of strangers rather than trusting yourself and the opinions of your loved ones or mentors who really know you, you are giving strangers too much power over your life and you need to stop. 

Secondly, the desire for approval can diminish your willingness to be authentic on stage and increase your fear of criticism. Criticism in the realm of public speaking or any creative endeavor taps into more personal feelings because performing is also an experience where we are getting undressed psychologically in public.  It’s a time where you’re making yourself vulnerable in ways you haven’t before.

Here, the performer’s paradox comes back into play. If you have one intention to go on stage to deliver a transformational experience, but your other intention is to avoid situations where you will be criticized, the latter will likely cancel out the former. 

Focus on the Results You Want

When you choose to focus on results and base your success on the achievement of realistic goals, you liberate yourself from the fear of criticism. You focus only on what you are working on and better, more efficient ways to achieve what you desire.

Whether you’re an entrepreneur, professional speaker, business owner, or thought leader, you know the results you’re looking for. You want to lead your team more effectively, sell more of your product, spread your idea to new audiences, and improve the audience experience.

You’ll be willing to take more risks when you focus on the results. Outstanding performers learn to take smart chances even when they’re scared.

But remember, you’re not taking risks just to take risks. You have a reason you’re performing—to produce better results for your audience—and when you dare to get bigger results, this can be the most exhilarating and personally satisfying aspect of being a performer. 

Save the World, One Speech at a Time

Excellent public speaking can be used to promote your big ideas, to change and transform the way people think, what they feel, and what they do.

Your performance can save the world. Literally.

If your performance results in one person in the room making a positive change in their life because of you, you’ve changed the world.

Our motto at HEROIC is “save the world, one speech at a time.” And it’s not something we take lightly. Because truly, you can save the world with a powerful presentation. Those are the results we aim for, strive for, and work for every single day.

So, how will you save the world with your speech? How will your presentation change the lives of your audience? What will you do today to achieve the results you desire?

Silence that inner voice that tells you to play it safe―instead, take risks that will propel you towards achieving your goals and start giving performances that save the world. 

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